When you put pressure on yourself to always get it right, even a small mistake can feel like a disaster.

Not long ago, I made a small mistake with an enquiry. It wasn’t huge. But I felt it—hard.

My stomach dropped. My thoughts sped up. I replayed it over and over.

I told myself it was fine… but inside, I felt exposed. Embarrassed. Not good enough.

It’s strange how such a small moment can stir so much. But for many of us, it’s not just about the moment—it’s about the story we tell ourselves afterwards.

You Should Have Done Better

That’s the voice, isn’t it?

You should have known.

You should have been quicker.

You’ve probably messed it all up now.

These inner criticisms don’t come from nowhere. They often belong to older parts of us—parts that learned long ago that mistakes come at a cost. That getting it wrong meant being judged. Rejected. Left out. Or having to work even harder to prove you’re okay.

And so, even now, a small misstep can leave you spinning. You might hide. Over-apologise. Get defensive. Or just feel like disappearing altogether.

The Perfection Trap

This drive to “get it right” can seem like a strength—until it starts to wear you down.

It’s exhausting:

– Always scanning for what you could have done better

– Needing others to be okay with you, just to feel settled inside

– Feeling like one slip means you are flawed, not just your actions

It’s not really about performance—it’s about survival. About worth. About the fear that if you’re not doing it right, you don’t belong.

You Don’t Have to Live in Fear of a Misstep

Therapy doesn’t stop mistakes from happening. But it can help you change what happens next.

Instead of spiralling into shame, you begin to pause. To notice. To ask:

– What story am I telling myself about this?

– What would it be like to treat myself as gently as I treat others?

– What if this mistake doesn’t define me?

You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy. You don’t have to prove yourself to be enough.

You are allowed to get it wrong—and still be whole.

And that’s where real healing begins.

If you find yourself stuck in self-doubt or overwhelmed by the pressure to always get it
right, therapy can be a space to explore those patterns safely — and gently find a new way
forward. You can reach out here if this resonates and you'd like to talk more.