When you put pressure on yourself to always get it right, even a small mistake can feel like a disaster.

Not long ago, I made a small mistake with an enquiry. It wasn’t huge. But I felt it, hard.

My stomach dropped. My thoughts sped up. I replayed it over and over.

I told myself it was fine… but inside, I felt exposed. Embarrassed. Not good enough.

It’s strange how such a small moment can stir so much. But for many of us, it’s not just about the moment, it’s about the story we tell ourselves afterwards.

You should have done better

That’s the voice, isn’t it?

You should have known.

You should have been quicker.

You’ve probably messed it all up now.

These inner criticisms don’t come from nowhere. They often belong to older parts of us, parts that learned long ago that mistakes come at a cost. That getting it wrong meant being judged. Rejected. Left out. Or having to work even harder to prove you’re okay.

And so, even now, a small misstep can leave you spinning. You might hide. Over-apologise. Get defensive. Or just feel like disappearing altogether.

The perfection trap

You don’t have to live in fear of a misstep

Therapy doesn’t stop mistakes from happening. But it can help you change what happens next.

Instead of spiralling into shame, you begin to pause. To notice. To ask what story you are telling yourself about this.

What it would be like to treat yourself as gently as you treat others.

What if this mistake doesn't define you? You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy. You don’t have to prove yourself to be enough.

You are allowed to get it wrong—and still be whole.

And that’s where real healing begins.

If you find yourself stuck in self-doubt or overwhelmed by the pressure to always get it right, therapy can be a space to explore those patterns safely. I offer counselling in person in Worthing and online across the UK.

Feel free to find out more about how I work in Worthing and online.